From Visiting Brothels to Being Robbed, 10 Things Every Nairobian Can Relate to

There are a number of things Nairobians and people who live in its environs like Kinoo, Kitengele, Mlolongo and Kiambu can relate to.

What’s the number one thing that comes into your mind?

For me it’s traffic

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Nairobi traffic jam is horrible, frustrating, terrible. insert all the bad words here… It’s only in Nairobi where traffic jam can start from as early as 6am to 11pm in some areas.

Survival tip: Always leave for wherever you’re going very early.

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2. Being threatened with human feces

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Imagine you’re driving to a very important meeting, looking dapper, smelling good and someone just shows up from nowhere carrying feces in black paper-bag and what they tell you is “leta pesa ama nikupake mavi”. It’s all fun until you realize it’s too late to wind up the windows. Davy is a famous faeces thrower in the CBD.

3. Being Robbed

article-1244225-07E9C77F000005DC-263_634x415One afternoon along Kenyatta Avenue I decided to help an innocent-looking woman with my phone to call up his husband to come to pick her up since she was just from Meru and she didn’t know where the husband lives. She ran away as I watched her disappear, after all, I couldn’t scream. But I learned my lesson.

4. Visiting Brothels

sabina joyIf you’re 21+ then you’ve probably visited one or a number of cathouses in town, whether uptown or down it doesn’t really matter, after all “shimo mbaya ni ya nyoka”. I’ve never visited any, but my friends have.

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5. Your car being broken into at a parking

IMG_5212Leave your car unattended to and you take it to the mechanics to attend to it. And by unattended I mean not paying a watchman to keep an eye on your car. These watchmen do make a lot of money more so at night, anyway, would you rather give them 200 bob or buy new mirrors and lights?

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