Nominated Senator Isaac Mwaura’s wife Nelius Mukami says the loss of two children from her triplets changed her perspective of life.
Speaking to Massawe Japanni on Radio Jambo, Nelius, who doubles up as a writer and an entrepreneur, says she is still afraid to become pregnant again.
“I WATCHED MY CHILDREN FOR THREE MONTHS IN ICU AND THEN TWO DIED, LEAVING ME A BROKEN PERSON. THAT EXPERIENCE CHANGED ME AS A MUM AND IT TOOK AWAY MY INNOCENCE OF THINKING THAT THINGS WILL HAPPEN AS YOU WISH JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO.”
Nelius added that to date she looks at a pregnant woman who ends up giving birth normally and blames her body.
“I ASK MYSELF, WHAT DID I DO WRONG? I BLAME MY BODY FOR FAILING ME SINCE AS A WOMAN, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CARRY A PREGNANCY AND GIVE BIRTH BUT NOW, YOU SEE MINE DID NOT SUCCEED.”
She says she is afraid to go through the experience again.
“I WATCHED MY BABY SUFFER SO MUCH AND I DO NOT WANT TO BRING ANOTHER BABY TO THE WORLD AND SUFFER THE SAME WAY MY TWO BABIES SUFFERED IN HOSPITAL.”
Nelius’ son is four years old, and she says he is fine, apart from some delayed speech, which the doctor says is nothing to worry about.
“I TELL PEOPLE NOT TO COMPARE CHILDREN AS THEY ARE ALL DIFFERENT. I BECOME VERY HARSH TO SOME PEOPLE WHO TRY TO COMPARE MY SON SINCE IT’S ME WHO UNDERSTANDS HIS JOURNEY,” SHE SAID.
“SOME ARE VERY MEAN. SOME EVEN ASK ME IF WE DO NOT GIVE HIM FOOD. I MEAN, HE WAS 1KG AT BIRTH AND SO HE IS DOING SO WELL NOW. PEOPLE SHOULD STOP COMMENTING ON OTHER PEOPLE’S BABIES.”
Although there is fear, Nelius says there is the confidence that she will be more prepared than that time.
Speaking about grief, Nelius said it is the last compassion you can give someone.
“I WILL GRIEVE THEM FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE WITHOUT PRETENDING THEY WERE NOT THERE. I WILL NOT REFUSE TO MENTION THEM AND I CELEBRATE THEM EVERY DAY.”