Vanessa Mdee opens up about inferiority complex with her bae, Rotimi

On the final episode for the first season of Deep Dive podcast by Vanessa Mdee, the star welcomed her bae, Rotimi, to talk about overcoming an inferiority complex.

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines an inferiority complex as “a basic feeling of inadequacy and insecurity, deriving from actual or imagined physical or psychological deficiency.”

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Vanessa revealed how she dealt with her inferiority complex.

“I THINK I HAD TO OVERCOMPENSATE BECAUSE GROWING UP I WAS A SMALL PERSON LIKE PHYSICALLY SMALL, SHORTER THAN EVERYBODY I DID NOT SEE MYSELF IN GREAT REGARD. MY TRAUMA COMES FROM BEING TEASED AS A CHILD. SO WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT MY OPINIONS, I DID NOT SPEAK AS I GREW OLDER, I WOULD OVERCOMPENSATE BY BEING LOUD AND THE LIFE OF THE PARTY AND HAVE THE FINAL SAY.”

Dre and Vanessa MdeeAdding,

“WHAT SAVED ME IS THE FACT THAT I KNOW I WAS VERY TALENTED AND I WAS AHEAD OF TIME WITH THE MUSIC I PUT OUT. I RECOGNISED I WAS COMPARING MY WORK’S RECEPTION TO EVERYONE ELSE.”

Rotimi also narrated his journey on beating the complex,

“GROWING UP IN A NIGERIAN HOUSEHOLD, YOUR FATHER WOULDN’T REALLY LET YOU HAVE AN OPINION. AND IT IS NOT ABUSE, IT IS PARENTING. IF YOU ARE NOT CAREFUL YOU CAN GROW UP FEELING LIKE YOUR OPINION HAS NO WEIGHT AND EVERYONE AROUND YOU, THEIR ANSWERS ARE THE RIGHT ONES SO YOU START FEELING INFERIOR ABOUT YOURSELF NOT KNOWING WHERE IT COMES FROM.”

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Vanessa Mdee and Rotimi

He added,

“EVEN FOR ME WHEN I WAS 16-17 MY MUM COMBATED THAT BY SAYING, WHAT YOU ARE SAYING MAKES SENSE BUT MY DAD BEING A STRONG AFRICAN MAN, MADE SURE HE WAS THE MAN OF THE HOUSE SO HIS WORD WAS THE FINAL WORD AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERED. I STARTED BREAKING AWAY FROM THAT SAYING MY DECISIONS ARE SMART, I’M PRETTY WISE.”

Look out for the full season of the Deep Dive podcast online.

How do you know if you have an inferiority complex. Here are signs though they are often mistaken for someone who seems overly confident:

  • Highly competitive streak
  • Perfectionism
  • Attention-seeking
  • Very sensitive to criticism
  • Constantly finding fault in others
  • Finding it difficult to admit mistakes
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